Adventures in Indiana

Guys - if you didnt know me, you wouldnt believe the story I am about to tell you. But i swear to you, this is totally true. And it happened to me last weekend.

Thanksgiving was great, I made the feast with a few twists, and it was really lovely. 2 things you need to know: 1) last weekend was the Bar Mitzvah of my cousin in Indianapolis so 90 of us descended on that poor town for the festivities. 2) on Monday I found a weird, painful lump on my rear right thigh...an inconvenient location for such ativities as walking, standing, sitting, laying down... you know. It was about the size of a bee bite, and stingy painful so i put on some anti-itch stuff and went about my business.

By Wednesday, my parasite was larger, more painful and i finally went to the Dr (while my soup and cornbread were up) and got some antibiotics, apparently it was an abscess - like a boil (biblical times come alive!) which is caused by a skin infection. Okeledokele.

Friday morning at 3:00am we get up to go fly to Indy, after all the triptophen we ate, its amazing we were even awake. We flew to Detroit where our connection was promptly cancelled and we were stranded in Detroit airport, panicking about renting cars and driving (5 hour trip) or waiting for the next flight (3 hour wait) and hoping that one can get off the ground. After all that drama, we waited and were able to leave Detroit (not a fun airport) and got to Indy at about 2pm. I took a shower at 3:30 and noticed that my alien being residing in my thigh was about golf ball size, just as hard, painful to the touch and radiating redness about the size of a softball all over my thigh.

off to the ER we went. Not a typical ER, mind you, a down home, Indiana style Chop-Shop ER, where people come when their tractors ran over their toes. And after 3 hours waiting in the waiting room, and additional hour in the exam room waiting for the doctor, where to pass the time we sang "Kumbaya My Lord" and other meaningful songs, I was given 10 shots of novicaine in my thigh and he cut open the abscess, drained the blood and pus, and scraped my skin of the hives the bacteria had formed underneath (Note: this paragraph is not for the faint of heart - well, its too late i suppose) By the way, I FELT IT ALL and it was EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL. You see, when the bacteria infects your body, it raises the level of acidity in your system. Novicaine is effective when your PH is balanced or slightly basic, ergo i was in DEEP DOO DOO.

Guys - i know its funny. Really, this story is unbelievable and i wouldnt believe it myself if it wasnt me that it happened to. But it was painful and traumatic and i was shaking with reaction and pain the rest of the weekend. shaking, tembling, my bones were knocking together so hard i was sure you could hear it if you stood close enough to me.

at 4:00am sunday we flew back to NY (Thank you Expedia for the stellar travel arrangements!) and i went to my dr who referred me to a surgeon who has been monitoring me all week because the incision is STILL OPEN and DRAINING ICKY BACTERIAL PUS. sounds exciting, no? they cant stitch it up till its out, because otherwise it will make a new mound. So..... I was out of work till today (depression that i had to go back at all *sigh*) and I am still sleeping on my stomach. Sitting has gotten a little less uncomfortable.

I am allowed to shower now too (hallelujah!). Yesterday was my first shower since Friday and maaaaaaaaan! was that orgasmic! now i have to shower 2x a day to let the stuff run out of the open wound. I'm gonna nominate this surgeon for some hygenic award or another when i get around to it:)

anyways, thats why I've been out of touch. And see, i sat long enough to write this, so that must mean i am on the mend. :)