Land of Silicone, Kingdom of Plastic

I am back from the Land of Silicone. In case you aren’t familiar with that place, its where reality consists of being made out of more plastic parts then your neighbors, driving flashier cars than your friends and in general trying to look like a tanned, too-skinny movie star. California is a pretty state, with a very fascinating history - but LA is a blight upon the landmass on the west coast.

I didn’t do too much touristy things, I was there with my sister to visit my declining and ailing grandfather, with her two boys, aged 3 1/2 and 10 months. Needless to say, the older one ran us ragged all day and the younger one woke us up about 2 times a night.

Add to the mix that we left Monday at 4pm New York time, and came back Thursday morning arriving at 12:30am. Yeah, I’m tired.

The weather was wonderful, sunny but a little breezy, and the evenings were kind of cool - not muggy and heavy. The air was sweet and sometimes had a faint ocean-y smell. (Only in the evenings though, in the Land of Silicone, there is a smoggy haze over the city each morning obscuring the sun till about 9:30am when it burns off.... who says there’s no such thing as global warming?!)

We did manage to go to the LA Zoo (it’s terrible, I wouldn’t recommend it) and the Santa Monica Pier - though we walked on the bluff overlooking the pier and didn’t go on the rides and stuff. We never went to the beach, but we managed to watch the ocean. Personally, I like the Pacific better than the Atlantic.

We spent some great time with Grandpa Tuesday and Wednesday but on Thursday already he was sunk back into his lethargy, falling asleep even when outside playing with the children.

Here’s the lowdown on Gramps: Grandma Rose died in February. She and Grandpa David were very co-dependant and her loss has understandably made him very depressed. Add to this that David’s greatest pride in life was his intellect, and his scholarly achievements. He is fluent in 7 languages, has done research all over Eastern Europe and parts of Asia, published numerous articles and co-authored books on Jewish Genealogy, specializing in Rabbinic Dynasties, traced my family tree back 44 generations (a feat considering that all of his and Rose’s families were destroyed in the Holocaust of World War II) and proved that my family is linked to King David’s dynasty (yes, THAT King David - the Biblical one). But his mind is deteriorating and he has lost short-term memory. But he KNOWS that he is losing his mental facilities and that fills him with a great sense of loss. So he has given up living. He was engaged with us the first two days, watching the kids play, holding the baby, smiling, telling us it was “fun” to see the boys. (That’s a word I didn’t know was in his lexicon) But then we were unable to keep him awake and aware on Thursday.

I spoke with his social worker who said that the only way to pull him out of the decline he is in, is to have more family come to visit. Our family on that side is NOT very family oriented, and Grandpa has burned bridges with at least 2 of his grandsons, so they aren’t gonna make the effort. Plus, all his family live on the East Coast or overseas. So it’s easier said than done. He is on the decline though and my personal feeling is that its time to make peace, he won’t be with us much longer.

I am glad we went, though the change in him is drastic from July 2005 when I saw him last. It was startling too to see what my own father will look like as he ages. My sister pointed out to me that Dad looks a lot like Grandpa and we were looking at the future. Deep thoughts....

So, though Cali is nice, I’d skip LA next time and go to San Fran, San Diego and Napa.... and bypass the Land of Silicone altogether. I think a drive to Las Vegas would probably be cool too.

It’s hard to see time pass s abruptly. I didn’t expect him to be SO out of it. I was expecting the confusion about dates and times, but in his eyes I saw pain, fear and loss. And that was hard to see. Especially for a person like me who has inherited his love for books, learning and the intellectual pursuits.

I don’t know what *I* would do if I lost my ability to think, or my will to read.