1st Anniversary of Love :)

Can you believe today is our first anniversary?!

I can't.

In some ways, it was like, last week or something when we got married. But on the other hand, I feel like it was so far away - I am so different from that person I was then. A short year ago.

I don't mean to be negative, but I feel older. Not necessarily chronologically, but I feel more Whole somehow, like a more complete person, and therefore, an Adult-type person. It's very different but not in a bad way. Maybe the word is not older, but more mature - or aged as in wine or cheese. Ageing implies both a growth in experience and emotional give and take. It implies not just the day-by-day growth of being a eyar older, but also of being a year wiser experientially.

A year is a full cycle of life. Of holidays, deaths and births. Of life-cycle events such as weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations. It would be silly to assume anything would stay the same over such a ponderous amount of time, but still it amazes me to look back and see how far we've come, how much we've grown and the obstacles we have left behind.

I could not conceivably live without Chewy now. My soul, as I told him, has become entwined in his so completely as to be unable to function alone. My concept of "person" has become "us" and "we", not "I". Though I am still muchly an independant thinker and person, marching still to that lone drum in my heart, I am more guided than I used to be to the rhythms of Our hearts.

I have to say, it is the most comforting, wonderful feeling.

I love the feeling of chewy's strong arms around me, and the musky man-smell when I bury my head in his chest or that little nook between his neck and shoulder where my head *just* fits comfortably. I love the softness of his skin and his loving and liquid brown eyes looking at me in the morning when I wake up.

I love the way he is SO cute and makes me smile even when I am just thinking about him. I catch myself more than I am willing to admit, with a silly smirk on my face, at all times of day!

It's been a whole year. And we have not only survived, but I believe forged something strong, and lasting. And deepend that which was already there.

Here is to many more loving years together.